Michael Bay diarrhea
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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