Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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