How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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