After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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