No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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