Moan for me like Helen Keller
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
