Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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