i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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