I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
