Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
