i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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