I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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