Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
