Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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