your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize