Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
