Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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