i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
