i don't like sucking hair
i think i have two assholes
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
