i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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