i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Small penises have feelings too.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
