You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
time to smoke my breakfast
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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