Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
