road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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