Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize