found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
