I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!