i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?