I want to stick my p in your. b.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
