Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it

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  (847) 4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it http://tfl.nu/qjg2
  Replies (1) Good night (932) Bad night (1312)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What are we going to do tonight?

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  What we try to do every night. Take over the world

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  (919): What are we going to do tonight? (704): What we try to do every night. Take over the world http://tfl.nu/y4va
  Replies (30) Good night (4438) Bad night (739)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.

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  (210): Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly. http://tfl.nu/2xxy
  Replies (19) Good night (1949) Bad night (812)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.

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  (317): its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated. http://tfl.nu/cjuf
  Replies (19) Good night (872) Bad night (2312)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?

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  (613): Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making? http://tfl.nu/bys4
  Replies (9) Good night (3685) Bad night (603)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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  (253): Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/3nnr
  Replies (37) Good night (1137) Bad night (5375)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.

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  (905): Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well. http://tfl.nu/5evy
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (545)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!

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  (509): It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me! http://tfl.nu/u8n7
  Replies (2) Good night (1160) Bad night (490)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.

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  (773): Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive. http://tfl.nu/999r
  Replies (4) Good night (1631) Bad night (366)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.

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  (660): On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics. http://tfl.nu/mn1y
  Replies (24) Good night (2753) Bad night (485)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it

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  (413): You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it http://tfl.nu/hn11
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (617)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer

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  (214): Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer http://tfl.nu/w9ex
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.

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  (904): Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won. http://tfl.nu/7tlp
  Replies (1) Good night (1229) Bad night (240)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.

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  (920): Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick. http://tfl.nu/e29r
  Replies (2) Good night (197) Bad night (416)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.

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  (503): My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon. (503): I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me. http://tfl.nu/sdzr
  Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (250)

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