I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm