he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
