Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling

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  (724): I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo. (724): That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling http://tfl.nu/z57r
  Replies (23) Good night (2312) Bad night (730)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

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  (713): I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way... http://tfl.nu/0604
  Replies (12) Good night (825) Bad night (1462)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...

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  (706): first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor... http://tfl.nu/ezfa
  Replies (7) Good night (711) Bad night (3537)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...

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  (320): Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs... http://tfl.nu/sf3t
  Replies (56) Good night (1514) Bad night (4235)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.

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  (484): I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition. http://tfl.nu/zjox
  Replies (9) Good night (4995) Bad night (935)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead

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  (407): She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead http://tfl.nu/h0ei
  Replies (12) Good night (4624) Bad night (1403)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.

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  (914): I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever. http://tfl.nu/u669
  Replies (18) Good night (1212) Bad night (7519)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

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  (206): My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas. http://tfl.nu/jpxs
  Replies (13) Good night (6302) Bad night (837)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.

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  (859): Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me. http://tfl.nu/05qc
  Replies (5) Good night (2571) Bad night (784)
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  (585): View more from New York

  aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"

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  (585): aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow" http://tfl.nu/ebai
  Replies (4) Good night (1658) Bad night (631)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?

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  (914): Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/y5jw
  Replies (8) Good night (2137) Bad night (952)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.

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  (504): Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later. http://tfl.nu/kqj9
  Replies (9) Good night (1652) Bad night (1390)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day

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  (617): FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day http://tfl.nu/h5lz
  Replies (8) Good night (2412) Bad night (699)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party

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  (902): Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party http://tfl.nu/fwjk
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (315)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.

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  (618): I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask. http://tfl.nu/me9u
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (316)

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