Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.

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(978): Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please. http://tfl.nu/4k32

Replies (12) Good night (2232) Bad night (1040)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.

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(484): Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/jyp5

Replies (14) Good night (7947) Bad night (748)
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(260): View more from Indiana

He went soft

(631): View more from New York

Wait. During?

(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

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(260): He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/18lb

Replies (99) Good night (951) Bad night (15989)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

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(870): you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions. http://tfl.nu/7qp6

Replies (29) Good night (8339) Bad night (795)
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(210): View more from Texas

i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

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(210): i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation http://tfl.nu/369m

Replies (13) Good night (4876) Bad night (1639)
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(207): View more from Maine

Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.

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(207): Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/fufl

Replies (13) Good night (5909) Bad night (968)
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(630): View more from Illinois

We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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(630): We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough http://tfl.nu/a8j7

Replies (4) Good night (2824) Bad night (1249)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.

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(201): Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday. http://tfl.nu/gpxr

Replies (5) Good night (3020) Bad night (916)
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(544): View more from

I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

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(544): I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling. http://tfl.nu/vpgy

Replies (10) Good night (1692) Bad night (764)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

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(574): I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor http://tfl.nu/63e2

Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (1155)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.

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(202): Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked. http://tfl.nu/s7s6

Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (1189)
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(360): View more from Washington

Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?

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(360): Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two? http://tfl.nu/t4gj

Replies (5) Good night (492) Bad night (930)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!

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(218): WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!! http://tfl.nu/3vs3

Replies (6) Good night (703) Bad night (441)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.

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(307): I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/p4ld

Replies (3) Good night (274) Bad night (698)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.

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(781): I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups. http://tfl.nu/fsmw

Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (478)

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