Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
