Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  are you still at the devil's house?

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  (248): are you still at the devil's house? http://tfl.nu/bw8z
  Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (1757) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

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  (773): My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas. http://tfl.nu/zv1j
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable

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  (208): Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable http://tfl.nu/e1k3
  Replies (31) Good night (4409) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray

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  (614): The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray http://tfl.nu/ggtu
  Replies (7) Good night (2842) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Happy Birthday

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  (541): I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry. (1-541): Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/2hsd
  Replies (14) Good night (3519) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.

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  (401): Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since. http://tfl.nu/058n
  Replies (7) Good night (1252) Bad night (4704) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.

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  (479): She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed. http://tfl.nu/si5q
  Replies (8) Good night (4483) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.

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  (701): so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick. http://tfl.nu/5ub0
  Replies (12) Good night (3717) Bad night (717)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered

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  (406): My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered http://tfl.nu/5zea
  Replies (6) Good night (2878) Bad night (471)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.

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  (856): two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets. http://tfl.nu/gsqf
  Replies (4) Good night (434) Bad night (1620) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?

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  (217): how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you? http://tfl.nu/250l
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (1271) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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  (435): Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender. http://tfl.nu/assa
  Replies (4) Good night (852) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself

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  (773): I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself http://tfl.nu/rzza
  Replies (1) Good night (735) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts

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  (+61): As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts http://tfl.nu/kck3
  Replies (9) Good night (1863) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"

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  (630): you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE" http://tfl.nu/9i9s
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt

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