So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?