I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic