Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been sleeping iwht ***

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Nooo

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb

  (816): View more from Missouri

  And then hit her in the face with a shovel

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  (816): He's been sleeping iwht *** (1-816): Nooo (816): Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb (816): And then hit her in the face with a shovel http://tfl.nu/a1q0
  Replies (3) Good night (1279) Bad night (2110)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today

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  (225): ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today http://tfl.nu/mtu3
  Replies (17) Good night (1293) Bad night (9492)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk

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  (916): I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk http://tfl.nu/o3lp
  Replies (12) Good night (2355) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.

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  (775): I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/bvr1
  Replies (20) Good night (5864) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.

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  (563): at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck. http://tfl.nu/kym8
  Replies (6) Good night (2099) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas

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  (734): I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas http://tfl.nu/ktjl
  Replies (8) Good night (1629) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.

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  (724): Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/3pug
  Replies (11) Good night (2374) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.

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  (617): So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan. http://tfl.nu/ggx4
  Replies (11) Good night (1628) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.

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  (603): The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon. http://tfl.nu/hw0j
  Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.

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  (651): We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it. http://tfl.nu/ubme
  Replies (5) Good night (1600) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night

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  (717): i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night http://tfl.nu/ncnb
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Pedi-lyte stocked

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  (203): Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver (1-203): Pedi-lyte stocked http://tfl.nu/s7oc
  Replies (1) Good night (679) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

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  (423): There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. http://tfl.nu/8h9m
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day

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  (613): Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day http://tfl.nu/f9jn
  Replies (0) Good night (229) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.

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  (630): i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair. http://tfl.nu/5kiw
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (461)

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