So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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