I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
