How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
