I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
