Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
