Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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