I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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