I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
