yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How naked do you want me to be?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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