remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
