I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
