Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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