i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
