M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
