YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
