Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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