69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
