You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
