? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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