And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
