We got so high we made milksteak
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will be naked everywhere
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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