I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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