I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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