All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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