They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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