i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
