You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
