too bad you live with your parents still
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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