yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
