were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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