never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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