You're completely useless in the revolution.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize