im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
