He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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