By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Screwed.edu
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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