These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
