put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
